


Forgiveness

by EinsamkeitSerif



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: basically another version of Lissa and Lon'qu's B and A support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 07:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18960748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EinsamkeitSerif/pseuds/EinsamkeitSerif
Summary: Lon'qu is plagued by thoughts of Ke'ri. Perhaps being Lissa's bodyguard can change that.





	Forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, uh, this is my first Fire Emblem fanfiction so I hope you guys like it! I'm sorry if they're out of character. Most of it is based off Lon'qu and Lissa's B and A support.
> 
> If you have any ideas for any future fanfics, please tell me! I'd love to write more for the Fire Emblem fandom (but I probably can only do it for Fire Emblem: Awakening).

There were too many women in the Shepherds. There was really no avoiding them, like he had done in Regna Ferox: the clerics were all women, the soldiers were women, and for some strange reason, it seemed like every single one of them wanted to ‘cure’ him of his ailment.

He had walked onto the training grounds and was almost immediately assaulted by the Shepherds’ tactician, Robin. She had flung figs at him, much to the amusement of the other Shepherds, which severely frustrated him. Somehow, she had gotten close enough for her –

_dark brown eyes, blinking wide eyed at him, pleading, accusatory–?!_

And he’d left, breath caught in his throat and hot anger burning somewhere inside him, unable to face the white-haired woman’s inquisitive brown eyes that looked too much like _hers_.

He couldn’t even leave the camp without seeing another woman. The red-haired woman – a Shepherd, he’d realised with disgruntlement – had her face buried in a book as she walked. He had been about to take off in the other direction, eager to not catch her attention, when he noticed she was about to walk off a cliff.

“Hey!” He’d shouted, without really thinking.

The woman had continued walking, mumbling to herself.

“Hey! Watch –”

The woman suddenly stumbled as her foot gave away and she tipped forward, arms flailing –

_as she fell, tip of the blade through her stomach and already crimson red_

She toppled backwards with a cry as Lon’qu yanked on her arm with a little more force than necessary.

Even the touch of her sleeve sent agonising prickles up Lon’qu’s spine. He pulled his hand back, head reeling and his skin on fire. Subconsciously, his hand went to the hilt of his sword, seeking the cool chill that would ease the fiery prickling and yet –

_the sword he’d treasured was worthless, utterly nothing if it couldn’t even protect the only one who’d shown him kindness in the darkness of his world_

– and his heart was racing again and he was staring down at _her body_ and narrowed dark eyes behind a pair of glasses.

“Apologies. I was lost in my reading.” She’d responded to his angry warning.

He’d left the infuriating woman to her own business after too many instances where he’d looked up and seen her face flicker and form _an all too familiar agonised expression as the sword ran her through_ as she mumbled on about whatever she had been reading.

What was worst was the fact that Chrom, who very clearly knew of his aversion to women, decided to make him bodyguard for his little sister Lissa.

Who was, the last time he checked, a woman.

And one that seemed to know of no personal space, much to his distaste. She seemed to be trying to get closer to him every time he even looked away (and even when he wasn’t), and smiled innocently at him ( _just like how Ke’ri had looked at him when she’d promised to be his friend, forever_ ) when he’d demanded for her to stop.

“Ooh! Look! A rainbow!” Lissa exclaimed, bounding out into the rain-damp grass. She spun around with a very familiar mischievous look in her eyes, her blonde pigtails bobbing.

“Keep your distance. I can see it from here.” Lon’qu scowled, leaning back against the tree beneath the shade, already aware of what she was planning to do.

Lissa huffed and put her hands on her hips to squint back at him. “Um, can you even guard me from that far away?!”

_He had been standing right next to her, a sword in hand, and yet he was powerless to do anything as they ran her through with a cruel grin –_

“I can close the distance in the blink of an eye.”

“Seriously? I’m nowhere near that fast!” She was still smiling, clearly unperturbed. “Here, lemme see how long it takes me to –”

“Enough!” Lon’qu growled and took a few steps back. “Stop trying to get closer!”

Thankfully, she actually listened for once (Lon’qu could still recall the times she had continued trying to get closer, forcing him to lead her on a sort of strange game of chase around the camp) and skidded to a stop.

She giggled, much to his exasperation. “You’re pretty sharp! But… I’m just trying to be friendly. How are we supposed to be best buds –”

_“We’ll be best friends forever, right, Lon’qu?”_

“–if you’re all the way over there?”

“I’m close enough to protect you.” Lon’qu managed to reply, before he fully comprehended what she had said. “And we are not ‘best buds’.”

_“Of course, Ke’ri. I promise to protect you for the rest of my life.”_

_She’d giggled, dark hair flying in the wind as she twirled about aimlessly. “You’re so serious, Lon’qu! You should smile once in a while.” The dark-haired girl paused for a moment, deep in thought. “You don’t have to only protect me, you know – in fact, we’ll protect each other! That’s what best friends are for, right?”_

“Geez, what a grump!” Lissa sniffed and rolled her eyes. “Why even bother guarding me if that’s how you feel?”

“Because those are my orders.”

And without really thinking, he added in a quieter mumble: “And morale would fall if anything happened to you.”

“Oh, puh-leeese!” Lissa dragged out the two syllables, blinking rapidly and smiling, but with a twinge of unease, Lon’qu couldn’t help but notice how her lip quivered and her smile seemed forced.

“No one would care if something happened to me. Someone stronger would just roll my corpse out of the way and take up the fight…”

Now she was crying, fully, before Lon’qu could really comprehend it. Her smile trembled and fell, and she scrubbed at her cheeks furiously.

“Ugh, I’m so… weak… I…” She sniffled. “I’m sorry, I know you’re, ugh, your aversion to women…”

And it was that moment when Lon’qu really understood.

_“I couldn’t protect you, Ke’ri… I’m… sorry, I’m weak, I-I should’ve done s-something –”_

_He couldn’t tell if it was the rain or his tears. There was something hot burning in his throat, choking him as he grasped her limp hands helplessly._

_“It’s fine… I-I said I’d protect you, too, right? Just… j-just go and… promise…”_

“…do you not see how your presence energises the others?”

_“You’re like… an angel, Ke’ri. It’s like you make everyone around you happy.” He’d said just out of the blue as he watched her spin about and dance among the fronds despite the light rain that danced alongside her._

_“Oh!” She’d laughed, which made him turn red and hastily mutter his apologies before she interrupted him. “No, no, I’m not laughing… at you! I mean, I didn’t realise you could really be this poetic! And…” She’d turned red, too, but still laughed. “And you mean it? That… I make everyone happy? I mean, I don’t know, I don’t really…”_

“…How your smile and demeanour put everyone at ease?”

“R-really?” Lissa sniffed and let out a soft, weak giggle, despite the tears that streaked her face. “Sooo… what about you, Lon’qu? …Does my smile put you at ease?”

_Ke’ri laughed again. “Well, then, how about you, Lon’qu? Do I make you feel happy?”_

_He’d turned even redder and covered his face with his hands._

“Perhaps.” Lon’qu said aloud, alongside the version of him that mumbled while staring at Ke’ri through the gaps between his fingers.

“…from a certain distance.”

“Ugh, why do I even bother?!” Even as she said this, she was smiling weakly, but this time it was genuine despite her red eyes and tear-stained face. “I’ll see you later… grump.”

When he’d made to follow, she cried out just a little too loudly: “You’re not following me! I’m going to take a bath!”, which left him standing aimlessly in the field, flustered. “B-but my orders… you’ll be…”

With a groan, he made his way back to camp, keeping a careful distance between him and Lissa as he tried to recollect his thoughts.

Lissa had made no mention to that ever again. Now, she skipped along the stony path that led through the forest, humming softly to herself as Lon’qu followed behind.

“The path’s kinda bumpy here, Lon’qu.” She turned around and flashed him a mischievous smile. “Should we hold hands?”

“No.”

Even if he’d become a little more… at ease around her, despite her enthusiastic attempts at trying to become closer to him, he knew that the touch would petrify him again.

It would remind him too much of Ke’ri and his failure.

“Honestly, you think you’d be used to me by now.” Lissa rolled her eyes. “And you’re always so serious! It wouldn’t kill you to smile once in a –“

There was a movement and a glint of something. Lon’qu was immediately on edge, his hand flying down to the hilt of his blade.

“Shh!”

Lissa, clearly not aware of the threat, let out a gasp of indignation and stopped to stare at him exasperatedly. “Gods, that is so rude! I’m only trying to –”

The archer in the trees took aim.

“Get behind me! Quickly!”

She stared at him blankly –

_and her teary brown eyes widened as the sword ran her through all too quickly, and everything was red, and he could taste blood on his bitten lips as he cried out, unsheathing his sword all too slowly–_

– and he gritted his teeth and threw himself in front of Lissa, _too slowly_ –

“Hngh!” The bolt of pain that embedded itself in his shoulder was enough to draw him out of his hazy thoughts.

Lissa’s eyes widened as she finally realised what was going on. “N-no! Lon’qu! You’re hurt! Please, you can’t… Don’t die!” Her eyes were filling with tears as she took a step towards him, hands shaking.

He groaned as he shifted slightly. The arrow burned in his shoulder, but it was a dull ache that faded away to adrenaline as his eyes flickered between the shifting shadows in the trees.

“It’s just a single arrow. It won’t kill me.” He studied the dark shapes that were beginning to approach from the shadows. Lissa seemed to notice them as well, and subconsciously cowered behind Lon’qu, nearly pressing herself to his back (but adrenaline somehow drowned out whatever fear he might’ve felt at her touch). “I… I think we’re surrounded!”

“I wager we’ve found your assassins. Stay close!” Lon’qu drew out Killing Edge, eyes flickering from person to person as he held it before him.

_I can’t fail again._

Lissa’s affirmation was lost to the wind as the assassins struck. Lon’qu was already moving, sword dancing and whistling through the air as he fended off blows and cut through limbs and bodies –

_crimson red, he cut through the men that towered around Ke’ri’s limp body with a speed that he’d not even realised that he possessed, but he was already too slow and it was already too late –_

And as bodies fell, those who finally realised they should’ve never thought about assassinating Lissa decided to flee, but they were moving all too slow ( _like he had, so long ago_ ) and they didn’t see the blade that swept through the air in a blur of red and silver before it was between their ribs.

Time seemed to blur by too fast yet painfully slow. Every face blurred together as he whirled and spun in his own frenzied dance, his sword arcing through the air and trailing red as each assassin fell with a strangled cry.

The last one cowered before Lon’qu, weapon long gone and fear painting his features. His mouth was moving soundlessly, spouting out pleading words that were long lost to the haze of sound in his head.

The assassin’s mouth stopped moving when his head landed beside his twitching, decapitated body.

Suddenly the haze was gone, and Lon’qu stumbled, the cuts and arrow wound from the battle finally reaching him. Lissa was by his side in an instant, staff in her hands. Lon’qu didn’t have the strength to fend her off.

“Here, hold still. Let me tend to your wounds.” She stuttered out in a rush. Lon’qu took a shaky step to the side, grimacing as he sheathed Killing Edge without even trying to wipe off the blood that slicked it.

“I’m fine.” He ground out, before letting his voice soften as Lissa flinched. “…are you hurt?”

“N…no, thanks to you.” Lissa mumbled.

He stared down at his callused hands, which were sticky with blood. Still heady from the adrenaline that was already beginning to drain away, he made to lean against a tree to catch his breath. Lissa rushed to his side, completely ignoring his previous orders as she reached for the arrow in shoulder.

Lon’qu turned his head slightly to watch through half-lidded eyes, not really having the strength to argue anymore. Lissa bit her lip, eyes still teary but mouth set in a firm line as she snapped the arrow in two. She eased out one end of the area with surprising efficiency. Lon’qu kept his mouth shut, but grit his teeth as the two ends of the arrow were removed. Already, blood was beginning to escape the wound, but Lissa immediately held her staff to it.

When the wound finally closed, she exhaled deeply and wiped sweat from her forehead as she lowered her staff. She blinked rapidly and scrubbed at her eyes with a hand.

“Lon’qu, you just… You saved my life.” She breathed, as if finally realising it. Her hands trembled around her staff. “You… you could’ve died…”

“I was just following orders.” Lon’qu rolled his shoulder as the faint itching from the closed wound persisted. Even as he said it, he couldn’t help but feel much lighter, as if a heavy weight had been lifted off him.

_I… didn’t fail this time._

_Is this my redemption?_

Lon’qu tipped his head back to stare up at the sky between the leaves. Now that he was faster, stronger, he finally had the strength to save Ke’ri –

_But it’s too late now._

“Redemption?” Lissa’s voice drew him out of his thoughts. Lon’qu blinked and looked down at her before finally realising he had spoken aloud.

“I…” He swallowed, unsure of what to say. Yet, somehow, words were spilling out of him, to this woman which stood practically a step away yet the fear that had once filled his heart didn’t return.

“It was a long time ago. I had a friend called Ke’ri.”

He paused for a second, unsure of why he’d started telling Lissa about it. Yet Lissa’s grey-blue eyes blinked up at him, silently encouraging him to go on, and for some reason, he did.

“We were… friends. But one day, she… we went on a picnic by the river. And the bandits… they were too fast. Much faster and stronger than I was. And I was… unable to protect her. She lost her life because of me, and…” He trailed off. “I failed. I’d promised to protect her, and I failed…”

“Oh, Lon’qu!” Lissa’s eyes were already filling with tears again and her hands trembled. “I’m… I’m so sorry, I didn’t… know…” She gulped in a deep breath. “Is that… is that why you’re afraid of women?”

“You didn’t know because I didn’t tell you.” Lon’qu muttered. “And… I suppose.”

Out of nowhere, Lissa let out a loud sob and threw herself into his arms. Lon’qu stumbled, arms stiff as Lissa hugged him and cried muffled apologies into his shoulder.

It was then he realised how close Lissa was. He was letting a woman hug him, gods, but… yet when Lissa looked tearily up into his eyes (why was she crying?), no memories of Ke’ri inflicted him. Lissa’s blonde pigtails didn’t become short, dark hair, and her jade eyes stayed a familiar green.

However, what did happen was that there was a flicker of movement over Lissa’s shoulder. Lon’qu tensed, reaching for his sword, but immediately halted when he saw the wavering image of a familiar, childish smile and short, dark hair that fluttered in the sudden breeze.

_“I’m sorry, I was too weak, I…” He’d babbled, but he was silenced by her hand, reaching up to press against his face._

_“Lon’qu… don’t cry. You did everything you could… and it was my choice. I succeeded in protecting you.” Ke’ri smiled weakly up at him and her long eyelashes fluttered. “But… if you insist… I… forgive you.” Her trembling hand caressed his cheek, which was wet from the rain and tears._

“Ke’ri…” He breathed.

He thought he almost saw the vision of Ke’ri dip her head from where she was standing and mouth something with a faint smile.

But she was gone when Lissa turned her head to glance over her shoulder.

“What… is it?” Lissa sniffed. Suddenly, her eyes widened and she pulled herself away. “Gods, Lon’qu, I’m so sorry! Y-you don’t like women and I…”

“It… It is alright.” Lon’qu said awkwardly, unsure of how to explain the apparition of Ke’ri to Lissa. He decided to keep it to himself and slowly straightened up, grimacing.

“Um… Lon’qu?”

“What?”

“Now that you foiled the plot…” Lissa sniffed. “I guess your bodyguard duty will be over. I suppose we’re done walking together like this, huh?”

“I… see no reason to continue.”

Lissa sighed. “Yeah, but… we were finally getting close. I’d be… sad to lose that now, you know? Especially after… telling me about… that…”

Lon’qu blinked, unsure of what to say. Now Ke’ri’s presence – the dark memories of her and his failure – had finally lifted…

“I… suppose… we could still chat.” He mumbled. “If you want. …from time to time.”

Lissa immediately brightened up and bounced to her feet. “You mean it? Oh, yay! Thanks, Lon’qu!” She looked like she was about to embrace him again, but decided against it and turned around. “Let’s head back to camp, then! And you can tell Chrom all about how you saved my life! And…”

Her meaningless chatter faded into the background as Lon’qu began to trek after her.

_Ke’ri… I…_

He could almost hear her childish voice now.

_Shh… don’t worry, Lon’qu. It’s okay. You succeeded now, and that’s the most important thing!_ A smile would’ve been gracing her lips as she spoke. _Make sure to treasure your bonds with everyone, alright? I’m proud of you._

Lon’qu opened his mouth to respond, but Lissa turned around and huffed. “Lon’qu! Are you even listening to what I’m saying?!”

“…perhaps.”

As Lissa berated him for not listening, Lon’qu couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief, that something heavy had been finally lifted off his shoulders – and strangely enough, lifted off his heart.

_Perhaps… I’ll be able to get over my aversion… of women now._

Lon’qu is not afraid of women. Not anymore, at least, though he finds that he’s still extremely nervous around even being near them – but no, he’s not _afraid _of the thoughts that often accompanied their presence anymore.__

__Dreams of Ke’ri do not plague him as frequently. Perhaps he does have a way to go, but he finds himself at much more ease when Lissa drags him out to make flower crowns or to go on walks in the forest. Ke’ri’s agonised expression does not appear in his mind’s eye whenever the tactician Robin speaks to him or when Lissa bounces up to him and chatters away about the next interesting thing she’s heard about._ _

__He has finally forgiven himself, years after Ke’ri has forgiven him (and soon, he learns, that her parents have forgiven him many years ago, too). And when he watches Lissa frolic beneath the blue sky, like how Ke’ri had done back in Chon’sin, he is reminded of what it feels like to be free._ _


End file.
